On December 27th I had to say goodbye to my very best and most faithful friend—my little dog Pepper. She had been a part of my life since she was just 18 months old and for more than 15 years she had given me so much love and joy.

2012 had been a hard year for Pepper. I hadn't had the heart to say it before—it only made me sadder each time I thought of telling anyone and it made it all so much more real, and the end seem so inevitable—for most of the year she had been battling cancer. It was a very hard and tearful time for both of us. But in spite of all the hardships she endured, she always managed to bring a smile to my face. Looking at her you would have never known she was sick—she continued to run and play, she always kept that same sparkle in her eye, and we did our very best to enjoy each and every day to it's very fullest.

In the end, it wasn't the cancer that took my little girl from me. And for that I am actually very thankful. It was heart failure. At 16 1/2 years old, her little body was just wearing out and as much as she loved life and would have kept on trying to live, I knew she only had a short while and it had suddenly become so difficult for her. I didn't want her to be unhappy and in pain. For nearly three days she hadn't been able to sleep a full night because she was breathing so hard. Her body was getting weaker, and she was so tired. She deserved so much better. For the past 15 years she had depended on me to make all the right decisions for her, and I had always known that part of that very special responsibility included one day making the ultimate decision for her. And so I had to say goodbye. It was finally time and we both knew it. I had let her go. It was the kindest thing I could do.

My heart is broken now and so empty feeling.

I've decided I need to take a studio break. I'm not sure for how long. Right now everything is so much harder without her at my side—she was my studio companion—always there to greet me in the morning, to follow me around as I took beads to and from the freezer and oven, to remind me when I needed to get out and get some fresh air, she was there to entertain me with her snoring when I forgot to turn on the music, she was there to listen to all my dreams and ideas—good or bad, she was always there to give me that sweet smile and a wet kiss whenever I was down… she was just there for anything and everything.

My shop will still be open with my remaining stock and I'll be shipping those orders. And for those of you who have already worked out some made-to-order purchases with me, don't worry, I'm still working on them, and they'll be completed on time. But new beads and restocking my shop, I'm going to put off for a while.

But before I go I just want to also say thank you to each and everyone of you that purchased beads and jewelry from my shop this year. Without your help, I would never have been able to give Pepper the care she needed. I can't even begin to tell you how much that has meant to me. Thank you SO very, very much.

Right now I just need some time to dry my tears.

Thank you all so much.

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  1. My heart goes out to you. I read your beautiful tribute to Pepper with tears streaming down my cheeks. Your photos captured her heart, playfulness and loving spirit. What a sweetie. Your readers, subscribers, followers, etc. will all be here when you return. Sending you a hug, Marlene

  2. I'm so sorry you lost your faithful companion. The photos of her are beautiful, and I know your memories of her will remain in your heart. Take all the time you need to grieve for Pepper.

    Blessings and hugs to you, dear friend.

  3. What beautiful pictures Rebekah, thank you for sharing. I am truly sorry for the loss of your sweet little Pepper...


  4. I am so very sorry for your loss. It's easy to see the love Pepper had for you in those beautiful eyes of hers ... ♥

  5. I know there are no words that will fill that void or ease the loss for a long time. Just know that there are people out there thinking of you and praying for you to find the consolation you need at this time. My deepest sympathies and lots of hugs go out to you.

  6. I'm so so sorry. You were both so lucky to have each for such a long time. You have beautiful pictures to keep her memory close by.

  7. What a wonderful companion and friend! Just as you were to her - your post made me cry in joy and sorrow....such wonderful pictures of your friend.

  8. So sorry for your loss. I can see she was a sweet pet. Blessings to you.

  9. Oh what a sweetie...so glad to hear you had each other for so long.... and what a beautiful tribute to your loved faithful companion. Hugs,

  10. I am so sorry for your loss and heartbroken along with you. Pepper was such a sweet girl, and if anyone wasn't crying along with you as they read this post, they would by the time they see the last picture. I know the pain is very acute. We had to say goodbye to our cat Onyx right before Thanksgiving...it's still so very hard. Take your time, begin your healing. Take care and thank you for sharing.

  11. Awww hugs, my heart goes out to you, along with tears. I am sure you will treasure your memories, what beautiful pictures, take your time xx

  12. So sorry for your loss. You have some wonderful memories there, such beautiful photos. I wish you a happy new year with love


  13. Dear Rebekha I feel for you so much. We adopted my Gran's Dog when she passed away in September, and I never ever thought I could love her as much as I do. I know I'll be devastated when her time comes, I'm hoping we have many years yet. I, as I'm sure every one does, understand your need for a break, I hope the grief lifts for you, and take comfort in the thought that Pepper had a wonderful life with you, they live on in our memories.
    Much love x

  14. Yup I'm crying now, I've been through this so many times and will so many more before I'm done. What a lovely tribute to your sweet girl, thank you for sharing a glimpse of your wonderful friend with us. My girls are relatively you at 5 and 6 now and every once in awhile I think of a future without them knowing it's inevitable and I try to push it away, it'll be here soon enough without me thinking about it now. My heart is with you.

  15. I'm so sorry for you. They become part of us and our family and sometimes it's hard to let go and say goodbye. I am feeling your pain, as I lost my beloved Cheyenne, a Blue Heeler that was only 6 years old, on the 21st. However, my girl wasn't sick. One of our neighbors or one of their friends decided to shoot her for whatever reason. We can't get a truthful answer from him. I hope you have good memories of your little Pepper and that soon your tears will dry and you'll be able to smile instead as you remember all the good times.

  16. I am so sorry for your loss, I too have a little dog that is my constant companion, I was never much of a dog person till my hubby got me this dog, and we have such a connection to each other I don't know what I would do if he was gone....I know it isn't much comfort right now, but you will always have all your wonderful memories of Pepper, and eventually they will give you some comfort... I tell my husband, they say you can't buy love, but that is exactly what he did when he bought Pumpkin for me, he gave me unconditional love

  17. I am so sorry for your loss. Saying goodbye is both the hardest and most loving thing that we have to do for our devoted companions. Take time to let your heart begin to heal. I have a elder dog that is getting pretty shaky and I am treasuring each day.

  18. I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved Pepper. I had to say goodbye to my first dog, Riley about a year ago so I know how much you are hurting right now. I still think about Riley every day. Our dogs hold such a huge piece of our hearts. You have some wonderful photos of Pepper and I hope that looking at them and remembering all of the happy moments will give you some peace.

    ...Grieve not,
    nor speak of me with tears,
    but laugh and talk of me
    as if I were beside you...
    I loved you so -
    it was Heaven here with you

    Isla Paschal Richardson

  19. I am so very sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute! I lost my best friend, Sam, in June and I am still grieving...daily. Prayers to you!

  20. I am sorry you lost your faithful companion.
    You have some very nice pictures to help remember her.
    Take care,