Starting to restock…

I've been working on making beads again and restocking my shop over the past two weeks. It's not a whole lot, but here's what I've finished and listed…

I'm not doing any new bead designs yet—so many of you have been asking about my current beads, so I want to get those in first. I've also decided to do all my listings as ready-to-ship, only listing what I have available, that way you'll get your beads right after you purchase. No more waiting for me to make them! And it allows me to make them in bigger batches, instead of a few of this kind and a few of that kind. I'm also not going to be taking any custom orders for right now since I have so much restocking to do, but I do have plans to make more dogs and cats of different kinds and in custom colors… I've been wanting to be able to do more personalized pets ever since I had my first requests last year.

So… that'll be happening and I will eventually make the new beads I keep mentioning… I'm just not quite sure when they'll actually be ready.

I know I sound so mopey. I'm trying not to. I'm still trying to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart. Yesterday was 8 weeks since my little Pepper girl passed away and it really hit me hard. I hate the fact that time is taking us further and further apart. I so miss my furry little shadow.

I miss her excitement and the thundering of her little paws when she raced through the foyer after our outings. She loved to run and jump! I miss her stumpy wagging tail. And I so miss her smile. And her snoring. And the soft jab of her nose when she wanted my attention. The touch of her fur. I miss her everything.

I've been puppy searching for the past few weeks, checking the new comers to the shelters and classified ads daily… actually it's been several times a day. But so far none have struck me that they are meant for me. I really want a young puppy, a little girl, and I want a smallish size. I'd love another Rat Terrier if I could find one. But then, I'm not sure I'm actually ready just yet.

Thank you all for being so kind and patient with me and for listening to my ramblings. I'll get back to being me again… I know I will…

My Heart, My Dog

When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure. ~ Unknown

For more than 15 years my life was made whole by…

a set of four little white paws

a pair of spiky ears

two smiling eyes

one black sniffy nose

a rumbling snore

a fierce bigger-than-she-really-was bark that rivaled every dog in the neighborhood

dozens of black polka-dots on pink (except for on her ears, you could really only see them when she was wet :-)

a constant flurry of white fur falling like confetti at a birthday party

a stumpy wagging tail

a million wet kisses

… and one heart filled so full with love, happiness and undying loyalty

she was my girl
MY heart
my DOG…

my Rat Terrier

my Pepper

I know that I was so blessed to have her in my life—a little bundle of joy from above, bestowed on me for what seemed so short a while—but I wouldn't have traded that gift for anything else in the whole world.

Every good and perfect gift is from above. ~ James 1:17

And even though my heart is so very broken by her passing, I know in my heart that she lived the wonderful life that was intended for her—nothing more, nothing less. I give thanks each and every day that she was put into my life and that we had such happy times together.

How do you say goodbye? How do you ever move on?

I don't know yet.

But some things do help…

Remembrance carved into stone. Justin of Justin R Visser Stone Engraving made this memorial stone for me. He is such an awesome nice guy to work with and went the extra mile to make it perfect for me. I couldn't bring myself to put an end date—and in truth there isn't one—she'll always be with me, in my heart forever.

And a little dog tag to help keep her with me always. Melissa of Doggone Tags made this special memento for me. I hung it together with a polymer charm I made and a silver heart. Yes, they're on a dog collar. Pepper's little red collar. It's a bit ironic really—my Pepper rarely ever wore her collar, and if ever I left it on her longer that absolutely necessary she let me know with a funny grimace and vigorous scratching… and since she seldom wore a collar, she never had a name tag—she didn't need any reminder of where she belonged—but if she would have tolerated a collar, I would have bought her a beautiful handmade tag.

And then there's you. You have helped me so so much! Thank you all from the very bottom of my heart for your kind sympathies, and for sharing your stories, and for your love and virtual hugs. My heart still aches and tears still fall daily and some days it feels like she just passed away yesterday, but you have brought me so much comfort and healing.

Thank you, thank you, dear friends.

And slowly, slowly, I'm trying to get back to creating. I need to keep busy…

If there ever comes a time when we can't be together, keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever. ~ Winnie the Pooh

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. ~ Dr Seuss

… and so I try…